What do you get if you cross a book and a pound of fat?
Lard of the rings.
What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad?
A croaksman.
What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader?
A spooksman.
What do you get if you cross a suitcase with a hazelnut?
A nut case.
What do you get if you cross a donkey and Christmas?
Muletide greetings.
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?’
Ell if I know.
What do you get if you cross the devil and an anagram?
Santa.
What do you get if you cross a Shakespeare play and a pig?
Ham-omelette.
What do you get if you cross a Mars bar and an elk?
Chocolate moose.
What do you get if you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Bell-bottoms.
What do you get if you cross a skeleton, a feather and a joke book?
Rib ticklers.
What do you get if you cross pasta with a snake?
Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork.
What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a garden spade?
Skullduggery.
What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a dog?
An animal that buries itself.
What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a tumble drier?
Bone dry clothes.
What do you get if you cross teeth with candy?
Dental floss.
What do you get if you cross a madman and a bakery?
Doughnuts.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a laundry?
Hogwash.
What do you get if you cross a cake and a disco?
Abundance.
What do you get if you cross a bad-tempered witch doctor, a fizzy drink and your dad?
A bottle of pop.
What do you get if you cross SpongeBob with Albert Einstein?
SpongeBob SmartyPants.
What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio?
Collie-wood.
What do you get if you cross a giant ape and a self-defence class?
Kong-fu.
What do you get if you cross a jet engine and a tennis racket?
A tennis rocket.
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort?
The Baaahaaamaaas.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
Roost beef.
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a vampire?
Were-wool.
What do you get if you cross a king and a boat?
King Canoe.
What do you get if you cross a herb and Doctor Who?
A thyme machine.
What do you get if you cross mouthwash and a bottle of HP?
Tartar sauce.
What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau?
A wedding ring.
What do you get if you cross a joke book and a snowstorm?
Corn flakes.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone?
A lot of crackling on the line.
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a plumber?
A drain in the neck.
What do you get if you cross an Italian landmark and a ghost?
The screaming tower of Pisa.
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a birthday present?
Something you wouldn’t want to unwrap.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a zebra?
A four-legged dinner with its own barcode.
What do you get if you cross a singer and a tall ladder?
Someone who can easily get the high notes.
What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?
Something from another universe-ity.
What do you get if you cross a mummy and a spaceship?
Tutankha-moon.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
A Kong-vict.
What do you get if you cross a house with a quarter pound of minced meat?
A homeburger.
What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter pound of minced meat?
A humburger.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie-wobbles.
What do you get if you cross a chef with a librarian?
Someone who cooks the books.
What do you get if you cross a donkey and an owl?
A smart ass.
What do you get if you cross a pond and a stream?
Wet feet.
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