What did the kangaroo say when her baby went missing?
Help! My pocket’s been picked!
What do you call a kangaroo at the North Pole?
Lost.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a skyscraper?
A high jumper.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A woolly jumper.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a tiger?
A striped jumper.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a snake?
A jump rope.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
Great big holes all over Australia.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a squirrel?
An animal that carries nuts in its pocket.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a lion?
A fur coat with big pockets.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a chicken?
Pouched eggs.
Did you hear about the exhausted kangaroo?
He was out of bounds.
Why didn’t the mother kangaroo like her baby watching too much TV?
Because she didn’t want him to become a pouch potato.
Why was the mother kangaroo angry with her baby?
She caught him smoking in bed.
What did the baby kangaroo call its mother?
Ma Supial.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aaron!
Aaron who?
Aaron the barber’s floor.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aaron!
Aaron who?
Aaron the side of caution.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abba!
Abba who?
Abba-out turn! Quick march!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abba!
Abba who?
Abba banana
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abbey!
Abbey who?
Abbey stung me on the nose.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you opened this door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abby!
Abby who?
Abby birthday to you, Abby birthday to you…
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abe!
Abe who?
Abe C D E F G H...
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abel!
Abel who?
Abel to see you.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abel!
Abel who?
Abel seaman.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abyssinia!
Abyssinia who?
Abyssinia when I get back.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ada!
Ada who?
Ada burger for lunch.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adair!
Adair who?
Adair once but I’m bald now.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adam!
Adam who?
Adam up and tell me the total.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adam!
Adam who?
Adam will burst any minute now.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adder!
Adder who?
Adder you get in here?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adeline!
Adeline who?
Adeline extra to the letter.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adlai!
Adlai who?
Adlai a bet on that.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adolf!
Adolf who?
Adolf ball hit me in the mouth.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adore!
Adore who?
Adore stands between us, open up!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aesop!
Aesop who?
Aesop I saw a puddy cat.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Agatha!
Agatha who?
Agatha headache.
Do you have an aspirin?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ahab!
Ahab who?
Ahab to go to the toilet now, quick open the door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ahmed!
Ahmed who?
Ahmed a big mistake coming here.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aida!
Aida who?
Aida whole box of chocolate and I feel really sick!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aitch!
Aitch who?
Bless you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Al!
Al who?
Al give you a kiss if you open this door.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aladdin!
Aladdin who?
Aladdin the street wants a word with you.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alan!
Alan who?
Alan a day’s work.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Albert!
Albert who?
Albert you don’t know who this is!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Albie!
Albie who?
Albie in the kitchen if you need me.
Who’s there?
Alda!
Alda who?
Alda time you knew who it was.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aldo!
Aldo who?
Aldo anywhere with you.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aldous!
Aldous who?
Aldous who want to leave the room, put your hand up.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alec!
Alec who?
Alec-tricity.
Isn’t that a shock?!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alec!
Alec who?
Alec coffee, but I don’t like tea.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aled!
Aled who?
Aled the ball if you throw it to me.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aleta!
Aleta who?
Aleta from the tax man.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aleta!
Aleta who?
Aleta bit of lovin’.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alex!
Alex who?
Alex Plain later.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alex!
Alex who?
Alex the questions round here.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alexander!
Alexander who?
Alexander friend are coming over.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alexia!
Alexia who?
Alexia again to open this door.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alf!
Alf who?
Alf all if you don’t catch me!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alfalfa!
Alfalfa who?
Alfalfa you if you fall for me!
Who’s there?
Alfie!
Alfie who?
Alfie you in my dreams.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alfie!
Alfie who?
Alfie terrible if you leave.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alfred!
Alfred who?
Alfred of the dark.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alfred!
Alfred who?
Alfred the needle if you sew.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ali!
Ali who?
Ali-luyah, at last you’ve opened the door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ali!
Ali who?
Ali want to do is have some fun!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alice!
Alice who?
Alice forgiven, please come home.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alison!
Alison who?
Alison to you if you’ll listen to me!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alison!
Alison who?
Alison Wonderland.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alistair!
Alistair who?
Alistairs in this house are broken.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Allied!
Allied who?
Allied, so sue me!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alligator!
Alligator who?
Alligator for her birthday was a card.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Allocate!
Allocate who?
Allocate, how are you dear?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alma!
Alma who?
Alma candy’s gone.
Who’s there?
Alma!
Alma who?
Alma not going to tell you.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alma!
Alma who?
Alma-ny knock knock jokes can you take?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Almond!
Almond who?
Almond the side of the law.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alpaca!
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Althea!
Althea who?
Althea later, alligator!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alva!
Alva who?
Alva heart.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alvin!
Alvin who?
Alvin zis competition - just vait and see!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alvin!
Alvin who?
Alvin a great time, how about you?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amahl!
Amahl who?
Amahl shook up.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amana!
Amana who?
Amana bad mood.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amanda!
Amanda who?
Amanda-rin orange.
.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amanda!
Amanda who?
Amanda the table.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amanda!
Amanda who?
Amanda fix the television.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amaso!
Amaso who?
Amaso sorry you don’t remember me.
Who’s there?
Amazon!
Amazon who?
Amazon of a doctor. What does your father do?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amber!
Amber who?
Amber-sting to come in.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amelia!
Amelia who?
Amelia a package last week - did you get it?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amin!
Amin who?
Amin thing to do.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ammon!
Ammon who?
Ammon old hand at picking locks.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amory!
Amory who?
Amory Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amos!
Amos who?
Amos-quito.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amour!
Amour who?
Amour you eat, the more you want.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amsterdam!
Amsterdam who?
Amsterdam is like strawberry jam, but made from hamsters!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amsterdam!
Amsterdam hungry I could eat a horse!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amy!
Amy who?
Amy for the top.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Amy!
Amy who?
Amy fraid I’ve forgotten!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
An author!
An author who?
An author joke like this and
I’m off!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anais!
Anais who?
Anais cup of tea!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anatole!
Anatole who?
Anatole me you’d keep asking questions!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anderson!
Anderson who?
Anderson and daughter came too.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Andrew!
Andrew who?
Andrew all over the wall, and she’s in big trouble!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Andy!
Andy who?
Andy little gadgets to have, door knockers.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Andy!
Andy who?
Andy call it puppy love…
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anita!
Anita who?
Anita you like I need a hole in the head!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anita!
Anita who?
Anita use your bathroom!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anka!
Anka who?
Anka the ship.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ann!
Ann who?
Ann-onymous.
Who’s there?
Ann!
Ann who?
Ann Tarctic.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anna!
Anna who?
Anna-ther brick in the wall.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anna!
Anna who?
Anna other thing, how many times do I have to knock on this door before you open it?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Annabel!
Annabel who?
Annabel would be useful on this door.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anne!
Anne who?
Anne apple just fell on my head.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anne Dover!
Anne Dover who?
Anne Dover your money!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Annetta!
Annetta who?
Annetta joke like that and I’ll never visit you again!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Annette!
Annette who?
Annette curtain looks good in the window.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Annie!
Annie who?
Annie-versary.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Annie!
Annie who?
Annie one you like!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anya!
Anya who?
Anya best behaviour.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Apple!
Apple who?
Apple your hair if you don’t let me in!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arbus!
Arbus who?
Arbus leaves in five minutes.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aretha!
Aretha who?
Aretha flowers.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Argo!
Argo who?
Argo down to the shops.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aries!
Aries who?
Aries a reason why I talk this way.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arizona!
Arizona who?
Arizona room for one of us in this town.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Armageddon!
Armageddon who?
Armageddon out of here!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Armenia!
Armenia who?
Armenia every word I say.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arnie!
Arnie who!
Arnie body home?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arnold!
Arnold who?
Arnold friend you haven’t seen for years.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arthur!
Arthur who?
Arthur-t you weren’t home.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arthur!
Arthur who?
Arthur-mometer is good for measuring the temperature.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arthur!
Arthur who?
Arthur any more biscuits in the jar?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Artichoke!
Artichoke who?
Artichoked when he swallowed his yo-yo.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Asia!
Asia who?
Asia sister in?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Asia!
Asia who?
Asia matter of fact I can’t remember!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Athena!
Athena who?
Athena reindeer landing on your roof!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Atlas!
Atlas who?
Atlas it’s the weekend!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Attila!
Attila who?
Attila no lies!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Augusta!
Augusta who?
Augusta wind will blow the house away.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aunt Lou!
Aunt Lou who?
Aunt Lou tired of answering this door?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aurora!
Aurora who?
Aurora’s just come from a big tiger.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Austin!
Austin who?
Austin corrected.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Auto!
Auto who?
Auto know, but I’ve forgotten!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ava!
Ava who?
Ava good mind to go away now.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Avenue!
Avenue who?
Avenue learned my name yet?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Avery!
Avery who?
Avery time I come to your house we go through this!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Avon!
Avon who?
Avon you to come and open this door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Avon who?
Avon to get in!
