The Mammoth Books of Really Silly Jokes 39
What sort of group do vampires join? A blood group. Who do vampires fall in love with? The girl necks door. What happened to the woman who stole from a shop while balancing on the shoulders of a trio of vampires? She was charged with shoplifting on three counts. What is red, sweet and bites people? A jampire. What is Dracula’s favourite pudding? Leeches and scream. Why does Dracula live in a coffin? Because the rent is low. Can a toothless vampire still bite you? No, but he can give you a nasty suck! What is it called when a vampire kisses you good night? Necking. What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars? Jack-u-la! What do you call a vampire in a raincoat? Mack-u-la! What do you call a vampire Father Christmas? Sack-u-la! Waiter, Waiter, will my hamburger be long? No. It will be round and flat, sir. Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Then why aren’t you laughing? Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup. Please be quiet otherwise everyone will want one. Waiter, there’s a small slug in this lettuce. I’m sorry, sir, …
