The Big Book of Laugh Out Loud Jokes for KIDS Part 3




Q: What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
     A: World hiss-tory.
    
     A: A ram
Q: What do you call an insect that complains all the time?
     A: A grumble-bee.
     A: Because the owl was a hoot!
     A: A bad-boon.
     A: Spelling bees.
     A: Grounded beef.
     A: A nervous Rex.
     A: Lost!
     
     Q: Where do you take a sick bumblebee?
     A: To the wasp-ital.
     A: Its fairy cod-mother.
     A: To their ham-mock.
     A: A milkshake.
     A: With a cow-culator.
     A: Because the cow has the udder one.
     A: They go on their bunny-moon.
     Jack: I don’t know, Joe. I guess nine?
     Joe: No, there were none! They were all a bunch of copy cats.
     A: Because laughter is the best medicine.
     A: They don’t like to be spotless.
     A: Lamb chops.
     A: It had the cock-a-doodle-flu.
     A: They do their worm-ups.
     A: Fumblebees.
     A: No eye deer (no idea)
Q: Why is it so easy for an elephant to get a job?
     A: Because it will work for peanuts.
     A: “Be careful—it’s a jungle out there!”
     A: It took him a while to get into the swing of things.
     A: It can carry its house on its back.
     A: You get fur trees.
     A: It’s an elephant, so who’s going to stop him?
     A: A croak-us.
     A: Put him in the front seat of the car.
     A: You get an ape-ricot.
     A: “Wart’s up?
     Who’s there?
     Butter.
     Butter who?
     I butter not tell you—it’s a secret.
     Who’s there?
     Wendy.
     Wendy who?
     Wendy you think we’ll be done with these knock knock jokes?
     Who’s there?
     Hailey.
     Hailey who?
     Hailey a cab so I can go home.
     Who’s there?
     Wayne.
     Wayne who?
     The Wayne is really coming down, so open the door!
     Who’s there?
     Weasel.
     Weasel who?
     Weasel be late if you don’t hurry up.
    
     Who’s there?
     Raymond.
     Raymond who?
     Raymond me to go to the store to get some milk and eggs.
   
     Who’s there?
     Nose.
     Nose who?
     I nose a lot more knock knock jokes if you want to hear them
Knock knock.
     Who’s there?
     Hannah.
     Hannah who?
     Hannah me some of those apples, I’m hungry!
     
     Who’s there?
     Little old lady.
     Little old lady who?
     I didn’t know you could yodel!
     
     Who’s there?
     Olive.
     Olive who?
     Olive you. Do you love me too?
    
     Who’s there?
     Eileen.
     Eileen who?
     I’m so tall, Eileen over to get through the door.
     
     Who’s there?
     Les.
     Les who?
     Les cut the small talk and let me in.
   
     Who’s there?
     Brett.
     Brett who?
     Brett you don’t know who this is!
     
     Who’s there?
     Bacon.
     Bacon who?
     I’m bacon a cake for your birthday.
     
     Who’s there?
     Irish.
     Irish who?
     Irish you’d let me in
Knock knock.
     Who’s there?
     Ashley.
     Ashley who?
     Ashley I changed my mind, and I don’t want to come in
     Who’s there?
     Italy.
     Italy who?
     Italy a shame if you don’t open this door
     Who’s there?
     Alda.
     Alda who?
     Alda kids like my knock knock jokes.
x

 Q: What kind of animal is related to a computer?

     Q: Why were the deer, the chipmunk, and the squirrel laughing so hard?

     Q: What do you call a monkey who won’t behave?

     Q: What kind of bugs read the dictionary?

     Q: What do you call a calf that gets into trouble?

     Q: What do you call a dinosaur who’s scared all the time?

     Q: What do you call a polar bear in Hawaii?

     Q: Who made the fish’s wishes come true?

     Q: Where do pigs go for a rest?

     Q: What do you get if a cow is in an earthquake?

     Q: How does a farmer count his cattle?

Q: Why does a milking stool only have three legs?

     Q: Where do rabbits go after their wedding?

Joe: There were ten cats on a boat and one jumped off. How many were left?

     Q: How come hyenas are so healthy?

     Q: Why don’t Dalmatians like to take baths?

     Q: What do you get when sheep do karate?

     Q: Why did the rooster go to the doctor?

     Q: What do birds do before they work out?

     Q: What kind of insects are bad at football?

     Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

     Q: What did the tiger say to her cubs when they wanted to go out and play?

     Q: Why did the monkey almost get fired?

     Q: Why is the snail one of the strongest creatures in the world?

     Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a forest?

     Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

     Q: What is a frog’s favorite flower?

     Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in the backseat of the car?

     Q: What do you get when you cross a monkey and a peach?

     Q: How do you greet a frog?

Knock-Knock Jokes

     Knock knock.

     Knock knock.

     Knock knock.

     Knock knock.

     Knock knock.

 Knock knock.

  Knock knock.

Knock knock.

Knock knock.

 Knock knock.

Knock knock.

  Knock knock.

Knock knock.

Knock knock.

 

Knock knock.

Knock knock.

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Gwen.

 

     Gwen who?

 

     Gwen do you think we can get together

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Francis.

 

     Francis who?

 

     Francis next to Spain.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Cook.

 

     Cook who?

 

     Are you as crazy as you sound?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Juno.

 

     Juno who?

 

     Juno it’s me, so let me in now!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Alex.

 

     Alex who?

 

     Alex plain later, now let me in!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Gladys.

 

     Gladys who?

 

     Aren’t you Gladys is the last knock knock joke?

 

    

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Joanna.

 

     Joanna who?

 

     Joanna come out and play?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Archie.

 

     Archie who?

 

     Archie going to let me in?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Robin.

 

     Robin who?

 

     Robin a bank is against the law.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Duncan.

 

     Duncan who?

 

     Duncan cookies in milk tastes good.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Pastor.

 

     Pastor who?

 

     Pastor potatoes. I’m hungry!

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Carson.

 

     Carson who?

 

     Carson the freeway drive really fast.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Ben.

 

     Ben who?

 

     I’ve Ben gone a lot lately and came by to see you

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Doug.

 

     Doug who?

 

     I Doug deep and still couldn’t find my keys. Please let me in!

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Aldon.

 

     Aldon who?

 

     When you’re Aldon with dinner can you come out and play?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     House.

 

     House who?

 

     House it going for you?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Arlo.

 

     Arlo who?

 

     Arlo temperature is making me cold. Please let me in

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Ben.

 

     Ben who?

 

     I haven’t Ben over to visit in a long time.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Mia.

 

     Mia who?

 

     Mia hand is killing me from all this knocking. Will you please let me in?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Anna.

 

     Anna who?

 

     Anna chance you’ll let me in? It’s cold out here!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Samantha.

 

     Samantha who?

 

     Can you give me Samantha to my questions?

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Lee.

 

     Lee who?

 

     I’m lone Lee without you. Please let me in

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Ya.

 

     Ya who?

 

     Giddyup, cowboy!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Cameron.

 

     Cameron who?

 

     Is the Cameron? I want to take a picture.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Stan.

 

     Stan who?

 

     Stan back because I’m going to break down the door!

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Ice.

 

     Ice who?

 

     It would be really ice to see you, so please open the door.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Eyes.

 

     Eyes who?

 

     Eyes better come in before I catch a cold.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Ada.

 

     Ada who?

 

     I Ada lot for lunch, so now I’m really full.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Dewey.

 

     Dewey who?

 

     Dewey have to go to school today?

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Peas.

 

     Peas who?

 

     Peas, can you come out and play?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Fanny.

 

     Fanny who?

 

     If Fanny body asks, I’m not home.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Hugo.

 

     Hugo who?

 

     Hugo first and I’ll go second

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Megan.

 

     Megan who?

 

     You’re Megan me crazy with all of these knock knock jokes.

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Owen.

 

     Owen who?

 

     I’m Owen you a lot of money, but I’ll pay you back soon!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Lucas.

 

     Lucas who?

Lucas in the eye and tell us you don’t want to hear another knock knock joke!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Luke.

 

     Luke who?

 

     You Luke like you want to hear another knock knock joke!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Quack.

 

     Quack who?

 

     You quack me up with all these knock knock jokes

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Sadie.

 

     Sadie who?

 

     If I Sadie magic word will you let me in?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Queen.

 

     Queen who?

 

     I had a bath, so I’m queen as a whistle!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Baby Al.

 

     Baby Al who?

 

     Baby Al will, baby Al won’t.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Canoe.

 

     Canoe who?

 

     Canoe come out and play?

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Oldest.

 

     Oldest who?

 

     Oldest knocking is giving me a headache.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Woody.

 

     Woody who?

 

     Woody like to hear another knock knock joke?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     B.C.

 

     B.C. who?

 

     I’ll B.C.-ing you soon.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Weed.

 

     Weed who?

 

     Weed better go home now for dinner.

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Dawn.

 

     Dawn who?

 

     Dawn mess around, or I’m leaving!

 

     Knock knock

Who’s there?

 

     Rockefeller.

 

     Rockefeller who?

 

     Rockefeller in his cradle, and he’ll go right to sleep.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Dora.

 

     Dora who?

 

     A Dora is between us, so open up!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Braden.

 

     Braden who?

 

     Are you busy Braden your hair, or will you open the door?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Hannah.

 

     Hannah who?

 

     Hannah over the keys so I can open this door!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Gary.

 

     Gary who?

 

     Gary me inside—my legs are tired.

 

    

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     I don’t know.

 

     I don’t know who?

 

     I don’t know who either, so open the door and find out.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Beth.

 

     Beth who?

 

     I didn’t sneeze!

 

     Knock knock

Who’s there?

 

     Shelby.

 

     Shelby who?

 

     Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Howl.

 

     Howl who?

 

     Howl we get away from all these knock knock jokes?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Water.

 

     Water who?

 

     Water you doing at my house?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Vera.

 

     Vera who?

 

     Vera few people think these jokes are funny.

 

    

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Garden.

 

     Garden who?

 

     Stop garden the door and let me in!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Annie.

 

     Annie who?

 

     Annie reason you’re not opening the door?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Dozen.

 

     Dozen who?

 

     Dozen anyone ever open the door?

 

Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Dragon.

 

     Dragon who?

 

     These jokes are dragon on and on.

 

    

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Willie.

 

     Willie who?

 

     Willie tell us more knock knock jokes?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Moe.

 

     Moe who?

 

     Moe knock knock jokes, please.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Ernest.

 

     Ernest who?

 

     Ernest is full of chicken eggs.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Taylor.

 

     Taylor who?

 

     Taylor brother to pick up his toys.

 

    

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

Dewy.

 

     Dewy who?

 

     Dewy get to hear more knock knock jokes?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Lettuce.

 

     Lettuce who?

 

     Lettuce in and you’ll find out.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Collette.

 

     Collette who?

 

     Collette crazy, but I’d like to come in and see you.

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Achoo.

 

     Achoo who?

 

     Achoo my gum every day.

 

    

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Juicy.

 

     Juicy who?

 

     Juicy any monsters under my bed?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Alaska.

 

     Alaska who?

 

     Alaska one more time to let me in!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Yellow.

 

     Yellow who?

Yellow, and how are you doing today?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Handsome.

 

     Handsome who?

 

     Handsome food to me—I’m really hungry!

 

    

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Rabbit.

 

     Rabbit who?

 

     Rabbit carefully, it’s a Christmas present!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Sarah.

 

     Sarah who?

 

     Is Sarah doctor in the house? I feel sick!

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Ida.

 

     Ida who?

 

     Ida know, why don’t you open up and find out?

 

     Knock knock.

 

     Who’s there?

 

     Oscar.

 

     Oscar who?

 

     Oscar a silly question, get a silly answer

 

 


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