Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer Book 2 Chapter 6 SIEGE Part 26

 

Butler picked him up by the neck, finger and thumb easily meeting around the back.

'Name?'

'G-Grub…er, I mean Corporal Kelp.'

'Well, Corporal, you tell your commander that the next time I see armed forces coming in here,

they'll be picked off by sniper fire. No darts either. Armour-piercing bullets.'

'Yessir. Sniper fire. Got it. Seems fair.'

'Good. You are, however, permitted to remove your injured.'

'Most generous of you.'

'But if I see so much as the twinkle of a weapon on any of the medics, I might be tempted to

detonate a few of the mines I have planted in the grounds.'

Grub swallowed, his pallor increasing behind the visor.

'Unarmed medics. Crystal clear.'

Butler set the fairy down, brushing his tunic with massive fingers.

'Now. Final thing. Listening?'

Furious nods.

'I want a negotiator. Someone who can make decisions. Not some no-ranker who has to run off

back to base after every demand. Understood?'

'Fine. That is, I'm sure it will be fine. Unfortunately I'm one of those no-rankers. So, you see, I

can't actually guarantee it will be fine ...'

Butler was sorely tempted to drop-kick this little fellow back to his camp.

'Very well. I understand. Just…shut up!'

Grub almost agreed, then he clamped his mouth shut and nodded.

'Good. Now, before you go, collect all weapons and helmets and make a little pile right there.'

Grub took a deep breath. Ah well, may as well go out a hero.

'I can't do that.'

'Oh, really? And why not?'

Grub drew himself up to his full height. 'An LEP officer never relinquishes his weapon.'

Butler nodded. 'Fair enough. Thought I'd ask. Off you go then.'

Hardly able to believe his luck, Grub scurried back towards the command tower. He was the last

fairy standing. Trouble was snoring in the gravel but he, Grub Kelp, had faced down the Mud

Monster. Wait until Mummy heard about this.

Holly sat on the edge of her bed, fingers curled around the metal base. She lifted slowly, taking

the weight on her arms. The strain threatened to pop her elbows from their sockets. She held it for a

second, and then slammed the frame into the concrete. A satisfying cloud of dust and splinters

swirled around her knees.

'Good,' she grunted.

Holly eyed the camera. Doubtless they were watching her. No time to waste. She flexed her

fingers, repeating the manoeuvre again and again, until the steel base left deep weals in her finger

joints. With each impact more and more splinters popped from the fresh floor.

After several moments, the cell door burst open and Juliet fell into the room.

'What are you doing?' she panted. 'Trying to knock the house down?'

'I'm hungry!' shouted Holly. 'And I'm fed up waving at that stupid camera. Don't you feed your

prisoners around here? I want some food!'

Juliet's fingers curled into a fist. Artemis had warned her to be civil, but there was a limit.

'No need to get your knick…or whatever in a twist. So what do you fairies eat?'

'Got any dolphin?' Holly asked sarcastically.

Juliet shuddered. 'No, I don't, you beast!'

'Fruit then. Or vegetables. Make sure they're washed. I don't want any of your chemical poisons

in my blood.'

'Ha ha, you're a riot, you are. Don't worry, all our produce is grown naturally.' Juliet paused on her

way to the door. 'And don't you go forgetting the rules. No trying to escape from the house. And

there's no need to break up the furniture either. Don't make me demonstrate my full nelson.'

As soon as Juliet's footsteps had faded, Holly began smashing the bed into the concrete. That was

the thing about fairy bonds. The instructions had to be given eye to eye, and they had to be very

precise. Just saying there was no need to do a thing wasn't specifically forbidding an elf to do it. And

another thing, Holly had no intention of escaping from the house. That wasn't to say that she didn't

mean to get out of her cell.

Artemis had added yet another monitor to the bank. This one was linked to a camera in Angeline

Fowl's attic room. He spared a moment to check on his mother. Sometimes it bothered him having a

camera in her room; it seemed almost like spying. But it was for her own good. There was always the

danger that she could hurt herself. At the moment she was sleeping peacefully, having swallowed

the sleeping pill that Juliet had left on her tray. All part of the plan. A vital part, as it happened.

Butler entered the control room. He was clutching a fistful of fairy hardware and rubbing his

neck.

'Tricky little blighters.'

Artemis looked up from the monitor bank.

'Any problems?'

'Nothing major. These little batons pack quite a punch though. How's our prisoner?'

'Fine. Juliet is getting her something to eat. I'm afraid Captain Short is going a bit stir-crazy.'

On the screen, Holly was smashing her cot into the concrete.

'It's understandable,' noted the manservant. 'Imagine her frustration. It's not as if she can tunnel

her way out.'

Artemis smiled. 'No. The entire estate is built on a bed of limestone. Not even a dwarf could

tunnel his way out of here. Or in.'

Wrong, as it happened. Dead wrong. A landmark moment for Artemis Fowl.

The LEP had procedures for emergencies like this one. Admittedly these did not include the

Retrieval Squad getting hammered by a lone enemy. Still, that just made the next step all the more

urgent, especially with the faintest of orange tinges creeping into the sky.

'Are we good to go?' roared Root into his mike, as though it wasn't whisper-sensitive.

Good to go, thought Foaly, busy wiring the last dish on a watchtower. These military types and

their catchphrases. Good to go, lock and load, I don't know but I've been told. So insecure.

Aloud he said, 'No need to shout, Commander. These headsets could pick up a spider scratching

in Madagascar.'

'And is there a spider scratching in Madagascar?'

'Well…I don't know. They can't really -'

'Well, stop changing the subject, Foaly, and answer the question!'

The centaur scowled. The commander took everything so literally. He plugged the dish's modem

lead into his laptop.

'OK. We're…good to go.'

'About time too. Right, flip the switch.'

For the third time in as many moments, Foaly gritted his horsy teeth. He was indeed the

stereotypical unappreciated genius. Flick the switch, if you don't mind. Root didn't have the cranial

capacity to appreciate what he was trying to do here.

Stopping time wasn't just a matter of pressing the on button: there was a series of delicate

procedures that had to be performed with utmost precision. Otherwise the stop zone could end up

as just so much ash and radioactive slop.

While it was true that fairies had been stopping time for millennia, these days, with satellite

communication and the Internet, humans were liable to notice if a zone just dropped out of time for

a couple of hours. There was an age when you could throw a blanket stoppage over a whole country

and the Mud People would simply think the gods were angry. But not any more. Nowadays the

humans had instruments for measuring anything, so if there was any time-stopping to be done, it had

better be fine-tuned and precise.

In the old days, five elfin warlocks would form a pentagram around the target and spread a magic

shield over it, temporarily stopping time inside the enchanted enclosure.

This was fine as far as it went, provided the warlocks didn't have to use the bathroom. Many a

siege was lost because an elf had one glass of wine too many. Warlocks tire quickly too, and their

arms get sore. On a good day, you had maybe an hour and a half, which was hardly worth the trouble

in the first place.

It was Foaly's idea to mechanize the whole procedure. He had the warlocks do their thing into

lithium batteries, and then he set up a network of receiver dishes around the designated area. Sounds

simple? Well, it wasn't. But there were definite advantages. For one thing there were no more power

surges. Batteries didn't try to show off to each other. You could calculate exactly how many power

cells were needed, and sieges could be extended for up to eight hours.

As it happened, the Fowl estate was the perfect location for a time-stop - isolated with a definite

boundary. It even had elevated towers for the dishes, for heaven's sake. It was almost as if Artemis

Fowl wanted time stopped…Foaly's finger hesitated over the button. Could it be possible? After all,

the human youth had been one step ahead throughout this whole affair.

'Commander?'

'Are we on-line yet?'

'Not exactly. There's something -'

Root's reaction nearly blew out the woofers in Foaly's earpiece.

'No, Foaly! There isn't something! None of your bright ideas, thank you very much. Captain

Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!'

'Touchy,' muttered Foaly, and pushed the button.

Lieutenant Gudgeon checked his moonometer.

'You have eight hours.'

'I know how much time I have,' growled Root. 'And stop following me. Don't you have work to

do?'

'Actually, now that you mention it, I have a bio-bomb to arm.'

Root rounded on him. 'Don't annoy me, Lieutenant. Having you pass comments at every turn is

not improving my concentration. Just do whatever it is you feel you have to do. But be prepared to

back it up at tribunal. If this one goes wrong, heads are going to roll.'

'Indeed,' muttered Gudgeon under his breath. 'But mine is not going to be one of them.'

Root checked the sky. A shimmering azure field had descended over the Fowl estate. Good. They

were in limbo. Outside the walls, life continued at an exaggerated pace, but if anyone were to

somehow gain access to the manor in spite of the fortified walls and high gate, they would find it

deserted, all occupants trapped in the past.

So for the next eight hours, it would be twilight on the Fowl estate. After that, Root could not

guarantee Holly's safety. Given the gravity of the situation, it was more than likely that Gudgeon

would get the go-ahead to bio-bomb the whole place. Root had seen a blue rinse before. No living

thing escaped, not even the rats.

Root caught up with Foaly at the base of the north tower. The centaur had parked a shuttle by the

metre-thick wall. Already the work area was a mess of tangled wires and pulsating fibre optics.

'Foaly? Are you in here?'

The centaur's foil-capped head emerged from the belly of a disembowelled hard drive.

'Over here, Commander. You've come to push a button with my face, I presume.'

Root almost laughed. 'Don't tell me you're looking for an apology, Foaly. I've already used my

quota for today. And that was to a lifelong friend.'

'Gudgeon? Forgive me, Commander, but I wouldn't waste my apologies on the lieutenant. He

won't be wasting any on you when he stabs you in the back.'

'You're wrong about him. Gudgeon is a good officer. A bit eager, certainly, but he'll do the right

thing when the time comes.'

'The right thing for himself maybe. I don't think Holly is at the top of his priority list.'

Root didn't answer. He couldn't.

'And another thing. I have a sneaking suspicion that young Artemis Fowl wanted us to stop time.

After all, everything else we've tried has played straight into his hands.'

Root rubbed his temples. 'That's impossible. How could a human know about time-stoppage?

Anyway, this is no time for theorizing, Foaly. I have less than eight hours to clean up this mess. So

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